Shyt day. Shyt night. shyt ytd. everyday is so shytty, WHY? =[ . ytd nite had a BIGBIGBIG arguement with my bro and my mum. i was screaming at them from my bed. I couldnt take it anymore. imma human, i have feelings too. Insulting ur own daughter everytime u see her, u think its nice to lsiten to ? I am human, not superman. I nid time to make changes and to adapt as well. why dont u get it ? Den for that idiot. 20 yrs old alr. dun even let someone younger have 5MINS MORE. just 5mins and there wouldnt be a single war. I hate it when those kinda things happen. pieces of shyt. Today was screwd up. I planned something but some ppl spoilt it. I mean jus go with the flow la. I plan alr den u say rather go home study. u knw im failing so many subjs ? im failing to the extent i almost get banned from the comp? i still take time out for cca and this is the SHYT u give me. u thnk very nice issit? I dont care if u complain or what. But like.. If no mood, tell me. i wont force u to stay. If ur heart is nt in the thing, then DONT do. Do like never do den might aswell dun do right ? I dont knw lah. i shdnt be care-ing but im damm pissed off. i wasnt the only one ANYWAY. pssh.
Loves,
GINU
Whole week flooded with shyt. Ytd gold modular workshop was shyt. Made me SO DAM HELL TIRED. Im Sianned. GO home that annoying WOMAN CALLED ME AND CALLED MY MUM causing war between me and mummy. dam u woman! may u get struck by lightning . Im tired. very very tired. And want to sleep and never wake up ._.
whats family ? i think its rubbish. i got cca all that flood me right.. u didnt have to whack my hand right! jus ask u sign a piece of shyt paper. so hard? this time im nt dedicating this post to the person i was dedicating to lastime before. now is SOMEONE ELSE. dammit. she 100% wont read. dosnt even touch the cmp. stupid . i got CCA, all that u think i got time to study ? i am NOT a robot. Hw can u blame me ? =\ u can never understand me. and thnk about it. iw as from a total SHYT class last yr. nw i in good class. i definately need time to chng right. u think i SUPERWOMAN ? fawked. im dam pissed. WTH is WRONG with my life. hate it to the max. sometimes i wish i'd jus DISAPPEAR .
YES I FAILED 5 SUBJECTS. GOOD RIGHT! =\
Hate everything around me. Love sucks big time too
Loves,
GINU
Sometimes i feel like i dont have friends.
Attached again eh ? Hope this is the right girl for ya. I dont wanna see u sad again. Hope everything will be fine. Im sorry u saw everything here. I bet u hate me loads now. im really sorry. No matter hw much rubbish i write here, i still want to hear ur problems and be thr for u. :D Smile, my dear friend =] takecares of urself.
Loves,
GINU
I thought about it for awile. Maybe im nt that much of a friend also either. I mean EVERYBODY wants someone thr for them to pour everything they have inside out at them . And i realise many words that i say contradicts myself. I' ve changed. I've changed into a selfish, Reluctant, Unsocialble Bitch. But why ? i used to be so carefree and crazy. I treated everybody like gold and now Everything is like Garbage. Whts wrong with me? I want to be soemone that everybody will be happy to be around. Now im nothing but a burden and an irritant. I hate myself sometimes.
Thinking about it, How about people like AHRA? Whom i pour my shyt to. I wonder if she feels the same as what i feel. If so, im sorry. But sometimes its just great to have someone there no matter what. I shall learn to be such a friend. I WILL stop complaining. GINU, U have to learn ginu, U have to learn.
Im sorry that u saw everything. Now im once again an alien in the planet EARTH.
Loves,
GINU
Well.. this morning had FD silver. so annoying! i miss all the top by 1 mark. UI i got 12, highest 13. Theory i got 29 highest 30. Practical i got or 33 sth 3 . highest 34 / sth 4 . ._. toopid. And anyway. i had the most beautiful dream i can ever dream of. Now i realise really hw much i missyou. You,From my previous chapter. After i rememberd that dream, my heart felt SOOO itchy. =[ sucky!
Had a study date in the afternoon with Marc Leung. He ended up playing but i did BIO okay. i made notes. :D ntoes i shd have made weeks ago . but i was so lazy , i didnt. =[ . yeapps. but was alright overall. I saw Love take effect on another person again. That person was so close to tears.
Why'd u think i keep saying love sucks ? cause all it does is hurt.
In the evening i was very disappointed with you. Told me yesterday that u wan me spam for u. I thought i was supposed to.. i tracked you like for so long.. and in the end u tell me u at bryan's hse. U didnt even inform me. U got unlimited msges dont u ? Jus message andsay training cancelled very hard uh ? =\ I waited there like a DUMBO. screaming that i was VERY VERY disappointed.. Yeah.. Go hang out with them lah . they're so much more fun! u can do whatever u want. Even that thing that i hate. The thing that i'll walk away whenever someone does it infront of me. Issit my fault that i actually care? Maybe i shdnt care so much. i tink it sounds better. den u wont find me such a nag right? Oh well. Perhaps i shdnt care so much . Give all of u soem space ya? let u all do whatever u want. Im nt even ur parent, i have no rights to control u what. ^^ Iwont care anymore. That time u said u sian when i said i'd stop gng for outings. dunnid stop la. u wont even ask me. whats thepoint? u got ur NEW friends. U dontneed me anymore. Im nothing but ur bucket. I'll be ur bucket if thats mypost. Anything that makes u happy...
Sianned.. whatever u msg me ytd is exactly hw i feel =]
Loves,
GINU
i Dont know whats happening luh. i hope for things to get better. it seem to have, at least a little. Its like. Im writing all these to express everything inside but is like. i want no body to see it. Its stupid. =S . Dont know luh. Anyway ytd sleepover was alright. all's fine. The movie was kinda funny. ^^ . was alright man! when we were sleeping it was SOOO cold T_T . Anyway yeah.. WHy's the world so sad ? come on man. stop telling me ure siann-ed. Come on! smile! oh gawd. Is like i want NO ONE around me to be sad. Only I, ginu can be sad. My tears are once again frozen, i dont know why and how. oO . I will not find reasons to hate nor reasons to love. Im not making sense. that was random. For some reason, ure talking to me again. Im kinda happy but sad also. Cause idk if it will revert back to like it was a few days ago again when u find someone else to aim at. This is terrible. i dont know lah. i haven done any homework , tomorrow is the accreditation for FD. hopefully everyone will pass. jy all.
Please smile. Only i can be sad.
Loves,
GINU
Well from what i see, I AM your garbage truck. Thats great. i like listening to problems. At least problems from a friend like you. Every line u talked about. I was questioning, Have u ever considerd me? Losing others mean so much to u rather than me. Woah. I really have nothing to say. Only people u aim for can change u ? then what are friends for? crushes come and go like Seeds. Friends are like trees arnt they? or at least they're SUPPOSED to be like trees. When the wind blows, The trees wont get blown away, They stand firm on the ground. Only when YOU decide on something , Something to do to remove the tree. You struck the tree with lightning which then breaks it. But the roots remain somehow. You never share any happy things with me do you? well i like it that way . Sorta.. i guess.. We're DISTANT-ing. That group of people. Like i told u, im avoiding them. They're strangers not friends. I dont like them, im a piece of glass to them too ^^ . I really dont know what to do luh.. I knw ure not feeling well. The least i can do is listen right? I did shoot u abit jus nw. But it was what i really felt ya. u really chng target like.. idk lah. change underwear, or like what yuripon said, chng cond0m. No feel alr, Throw. Why u think i got a phobia of love? Jus look at the mess love has caused. Love is the root of all shyt. From spoilt friendships to spoilt family relationships. Love is rubbish. Love is JUNK. Love shd get struck by lightning and just DIE. Why does love even exist in this world ? dam love. crap it. U're in such a state now because OF LOVE. Eat my middle finger, Love.
Everything's a mess.
Right now im gonna prepare then im off to becky's house for sleepover. Hopefully it'll be fun. and get my mind off these shyt. goodness.
Loves,
GINU
As you can see im re-doing a new blog. A blog is a like a chapter. And a book is like my life. So Whenever i change my blog, it means the start of a new chapter. I think the song i put in the blog really fits the theme dosnt it ? ^^ For those who dont know the song, its
Let you go by Ashley Parker Angel.
Broken promises
That you don't really mind
It's not the first time And you know it, don't you now
Tell me why it is, you only smile inside
When you break me into nothing
Don't you know
It's not like I haven't tried
Over and over again
Stupid fights
Wrong or right
Goodbye...
[Chorus:]
I Remember when you came with me that night
You said forever that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
No I don't wanna but
I gotta Let U Go...
You're the one mistake I really didn't mind
So beautiful and merciful, It took me down
Too little and too late
So now I know your kind
You fake it easy, just to please me
Don't you know
It's not like we haven't tried
Over and over again
Sleepless nights
wrong or right
Goodbye...
[Chorus:]
I Remember when you came with me that night
You said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
No I don't wanna, but I gotta
Let U Go...
I gotta let u go...
It's you...
There's nothing I can do
I remember when you came with me that night
You said forever you said forever you said forever
Here I am again
With nothing left inside
No I don't wanna but I gotta
Let U Go
I Remember when you came with me that night
You said forever you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
No I don't wanna but I gotta
Let U Go...
This song is not talking about this chapter. This song is summing up the last chapter that i wrote. Thats if anybody can actually remember what it was about ^^ We'll it was the longest night in my life and i never thought i would see dawn again.
Well im not feeling at my best these few days. I said i'd be happy for the rest of my life, i'll try my best But really really, Highly impossible. I feel like im losing a very close friend. I've known this friend for 2 years, well ALMOST 2 years. Somewhere there i guess. We've been really good friends. That friend would cheer me up whenever i was sad. During the DARKEST-EST part of my life, That friend kept me moving, helped me, Showered me with love and care and most importantly, Let me know that someone was ALWAYS there for me NO MATTER WHAT. I treasure this friend alot but seems like a new group of people you've met has drifted you from me. Well, Im not selfish. Having new friends is nothing wrong. But What saddens me is that, You treat me like a transparency now. You have no idea hw much it hurts. I heard your aiming for someone therefore being in that place. Its always that same case. The pass 2-3targets, all same same. I dont know luh.. in a way i do think that u are a little desperate. It dosnt feel good to be transparent. Although things are like that, I want to always be there for you no matter what. I want to know what is happening in your life. When u went abroad, I wasnt even informed. That made me really upset, Im really non existant in your life now arnt i ? I hope things will get better. You tell me u arnt in the mood, Have u ever considerd my feelings and mood ? Sighh... I dont know luh.. I doubt you will even read this and notice its talking about you. imma go off now. But please remember .
If being your rubbish bin keeps us as friends, I'll be ur Rubbish Dump forever.
My Love and care for a friend Makes me vulnerable to tears, everynight .
Loves,
GINU
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